Signs
in the USA (mostly)
In front of a New Hampshire
restaurant
"Now serving live lobsters"
On the menu of a
restaurant
"Blackened bluefish"
In a Maine restaurant
"Open seven days a week and weekends."
In a New Jersey
restaurant
"Open seven days a week and weekends."
On the walls of
a Baltimore estate
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent
of the law.
-- Sisters of Mercy"
On a long established
New Mexico dry cleaning store
"Thirty-eight years on the same spot."
In a New York drugstore
"We dispense with accuracy."
In a New York medical
building
"Mental Health Prevention Center"
On a New York convalescent
home
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal church"
In a funeral parlor
"Ask about our layaway plan."
In a clothing store
"Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."
Outside a country
shop
"We buy junk and sell antiques."
In a Tacoma, Washington
men's clothing store
"15 men's wool suits - $100 - They won't last an
hour!"
In a Massachusetts
parking area reserved for birdwatchers
"Parking for birds only."
In the vestry of
a New England church
"Will the last person to leave please see that the
perpetual light is extinguished"
In a laundry room
"Do not put wet clothes in dryers, as this can cause
irreparable damage."
A sign seen on a
restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago
"Do not activate with wet hands."
In a New Hampshire
jewelry store
"Ears pierced while you wait."
In a New York restaurant
"Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to
see the manager."
A sign in an Asian
seafood store in Madison, Wisconsin
"Crap - .79/lb."
In a Florida maternity
ward
"No children allowed."
In the offices of
a loan company
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."
At a number of US
military bases
"Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
On a display of
'You are my one and only' valentine cards
"Now available in multi-packs"
In the window of
an Oregon general store
"Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come
here?"
In a Pennsylvania
cemetary
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from
any but their own graves."
On the grounds of
a private school
"No trespassing without permission."
In a library
"Blotter paper will no longer be available until
the public stops taking it away."
On a Tennessee highway
"Take notice: when this sign is under water, this
road is impassable."
In front of a New
Hampshire car wash
"If you can't read this, it's time you wash your
car."
On a poster on a
telephone pole in Oregon
"Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can
help."
A sign on top of
a San Fransico drug store located across the street
from the Transbay bus terminal
"Terminal Drugs"
From the safety
information card in America West Airline seat pocket
"If you are sitting in an exit row and can not read
this card, please tell a crew member."
On a delicatessen
wall
"Our best is none too good"
On a roller caoster
"Watch your head"
On a Maine shop
"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible
prices and workmanship."
In downtown Boston
"Callahan Tunnel / No end."
A sign on a front
yard in York, Maine
"Inexpensive, Quality Daycare - Openings Day and
Night."
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