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Tidbits
  • Dinner Is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
  • I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun.
  • Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?
  • Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
  • I hate everybody...and you're next.
  • And your point is...?
  • Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
  • Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.
  • Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
  • All stressed out and no one to choke.
  • Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
  • Q: Why do woman have small feet?
    A: So they can get closer to the stove.
  • So many men, so few who can afford me.
  • God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.
  • If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.
  • My Mother Is a travel agent for guilt trips.
  • Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
  • Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.
  • Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
  • If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
  • I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
  • How can I miss you if you won't go away?
  • Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
  • If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
  • You know it's time to shave your legs when the cat uses them for scratching behind its ears.
  • So many men, so few who can afford me...

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