To Third Grade
Hi, I'm in third grade
but it's not easy, it's a jungle gym out there. It's
not school I mind, it's the principal of the thing.
My teacher is tough. In class we have to answer "Yes
Sir" and "No Sir", and my teacher is a woman. She's
cross-eyed too, can't control her pupils.
In English she told us we couldn't use 2 words, one
was cool and the other was lousy. I said "Cool, tell
us the lousy one first."
In science, she asked, "What would happen if one of
the stars in Orion's belt went out?" I told her his
pants would fall down. She asked, "Why do astronauts
wear space suits?" I said, "To cover their space underwear."
In geography,she asked us to name 2 cities in Kentucky.
I said, "Okay, I'll name one Waldo and the other Heathcliff."
And I don't like math at all, there's just too many
We eat in the cafeteria. For lunch yesterday we had
roast beef, bread and butter. The roast beef was so
tough it challenged me to a fight after school. The
bread was so stale I took it to show and tell in history
class. I'd tell you about the butter but I don't want
to spread it around.
They gave us animal crackers for dessert. On the outside
of the box it said "Do not eat if seal is broken."
Of course... (these are third grade jokes, try to
After lunch we had a test. I used to hate taking tests.
The teacher told us to treat them as a game. Now I
hate games. I did get a 100 the other day, 50 in math
and 50 in spelling. My teacher is so forgetful she
gave us the same test 3 weeks in a row. If she does
that one more time I might pass it. My teacher knows
all the answers, of course; she makes up all the questions.
But I do better than my best friend, Mike, he made
the P.T.A.'s Most Wanted list. Mike's the biggest
trouble maker in school and his parents never thought
he'd amount to anything! Mike kept telling the teacher
his dog ate his homework. We didn't believe him until
his dog graduated from Yale.
When I get home from school, it takes me about an
hour to do my homework, 2 hours if my father helps.
I was having trouble in English. My Dad bought me
a cheap dictionary but I couldn't find the words to
thank him. My dad bought me a thesaurus too. I thought
that was very nice, pleasurable, agreeable.
I was doing geography homework and I asked him where
I would find the Catskills. He said, "I don't know,
your mother puts everything away!" When my father
saw my report card, he said I was just like Abraham
Lincoln, I went down in history.
Thanks, and have a good day at school !