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Signs
  • In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
  • On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts."
  • Outside a radiator repair shop, "Best place in town to take a leak."
  • In a non-smoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
  • On a maternity room door, "Push, Push, Push."
  • On a front door, "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
  • At an optometrist's office, "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
  • On a taxidermist's window, "We really know our stuff."
  • On a butcher's window, "Let me meat your needs."
  • On a fence, "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
  • At a car dealership, "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
  • Outside a muffler shop, "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming." In a dry cleaner's emporium, "Drop your pants here."
  • On a desk in a reception room, "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
  • In a veterinarian's waiting room, "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
  • At the electric company, "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
  • In a Beauty Shop, "Dye now!"
  • On the side of a garbage truck, "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." (Burglars please copy.)
  • In a restaurant window, "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."
  • Inside a bowling alley, "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
  • In a cafeteria, "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."

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