Resume
OBJECTIVE:
To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for
eight hours, occasionally looking attentive
when approached by a superior.
EDUCATION:
School: Very Expensive
Major: Not Important
GPA: Don't Ask, Don't Tell
EMPLOYMENT:
NETWORK MANAGEMENT (9/96-Present)
Produced daily itinerary of television programs
to watch. Duties included changing channels,
avoiding infomercials, and staying tuned after
those "important" messages.
DEBT CONSOLIDATION (4/97-12/00)
Using various tools such as credit cards and
borrowed cash, I managed to combine groups
of unpaid bills into one monthly bill that
goes straight to my father.
COMPUTER SKILLS:
*Solitaire
*Minesweeper
*On/Off Repair Method
HONOURS AND AWARDS:
*First Place in Miller Lite Funnel Tournament
*Said Toast at brother's wedding
*High Score on Theta Chi's Pin Ball Machine
For further references, contact my mother. For positive
responses, please
pose all questions as though you're considering me
as a law school
applicant.
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