Reasons
Why Women Should Not Have Freedom Of Speech
- She doesn't need
to talk to get me a beer.
- If she's in the
kitchen like she should be, no one can hear her
anyway.
- If she can talk,
all she'll do is complain.
- Because she won't
say "I will" instead of "I do."
- No man wants to
hear "first down" during a basketball game.
- Because PMS is
no excuse for whining.
- No man needs or
wants to hear the word "period" unless it has
to do with hockey.
- Affirmative action.
- When men whistle
at them in the street, they should just shut up
and obey.
- Oprah.
- Feminists.
- Because that stupid
look on her face should not be accompanied by
an equally stupid statement.
- The 2nd and 19th
amendments.
- I don't want to
be made to lie and say "I love you"
- Highway fatalities
would decrease by over 90%.
- When I sneak out
at four in the morning, I don't want to hear anybody
calling me back.
- Women sportscasters.
- Women congressman.
- God forbid, a
woman president.
- Marge Schott.
- Stupid says as
stupid does (and is).
- Where does speaking
come into "barefoot and pregnant?"
- Yes that toilet
seat was yellow in the first place.
- TLC and Salt-N-Pepa.
- I don't care if
you're in labor. For the love of god, let me sleep.
- They were the
reason for the 18th ammendment.
- The life expectancy
of the average male goes down with every word.
- Female drunks
are annoying
- We're tired of
their "We can't pee standing up"
- That damn apple.
- Of course, if
she can't speak, she can't argue.
- Rosanne. Nuff
said.
- Suzanne Powter.
Too much said.
- Honestly, do they
really have anything useful to say?
- If she can't talk,
she can't complain when I forget important dates.
- When she talks
she's not drinking, it's hard to get her drunk
when shes talking.
- The Mute button
only works on the TV.
- Helen Keller was
the ultimate woman.
- Equality is for
math.
- The credit card
bill speaks for itself.
- If it hurts, I
don't wanna hear it.
- Marcia Clark.
- Chick-flicks.
- You don't see
Victoria's Secret models talking, do you?
- Janet, Mariah,
and Whitney.
- Michael Jackson.
- Intelligent car
conversation? Hell no.
- That annoying
fat woman from Snapple.
- High phone bills
- Women should be
seen and not heard.
- Do you think it
was BILL Clinton who messed up the country?
- Because they're
not men.
- If I wanted your
opinion, I'd ask for it.
- Hell, if I wanted
your opinion, I'd give it to you.
- "Where've you
been?" Who are you, my mother?
- Women on radio?
You can't see them, do you really want to hear
them?
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