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Useful drugs

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society....

  • DIRECTRA a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
  • PROJECTRA Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
  • CHILDAGRA Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little accidents."
  • COMPLIMENTRA In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
  • BUYAGRA Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store's return limit.
  • NEGA-VIAGRA Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

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