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How
to be politically correct
HOW
TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
- He does not have
a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY
- He is not a BAD
DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
- He does not GET
LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS
- He is not BALDING
- He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
- He is not a CRADLE
ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS
- He does not get
FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
- He is not a MALE
CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY
- He is not afraid
of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
HOW
TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
- She is not a BABE
or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
- She does not TEASE
or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
- She is not DUMB
- She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
- She does not have
a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
- She is not an
AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
- She does not NAG
YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
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