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A
Cook's Dictionary
Oven
Mitt: A
partially charred grease stain that fits over the
hand.
Picnic: Any meal eaten more than 100 yards
from the nearest bathroom.
Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions
for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy in utensils
you don't own to make a dish the dog won't eat the
rest of.
Sugar: One of a class of carbohydrates present
in one form or another in all foods. Common sources
of sugar and the types they contain are: fructose
and glucose (fruit juice and honey); lactose (milk);
sucrose (sugar cane or sugar beets); maltose (malt);
and jocose, verbose, morose, lachrymose, bellicose,
and comatose (alcohol).
Taste: 1. The ability to distinguish between,
say, tripes a la mode de Caen and chocolate pudding.
2. The critical discernment necessary to choose
the chocolate pudding.
Timer: Adjustable clock that rings or otherwise
signals when a particular dish is overcooked.
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