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Out of College

You know you are out of college when:

  • Your salary is less than your tuition.
  • Your potted plants stay alive.
  • Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
  • You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  • You have to pay your own credit card bill.
  • You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.
  • 8:00a.m. is not early.
  • You have to file for your own taxes.
  • You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
  • You're not carded anymore.
  • You carry an umbrella.
  • Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
  • You start watching the Dating channel.
  • Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
  • You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.
  • You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
  • You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.
  • You go to parties that the police don't raid.
  • Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sex in front of you.
  • You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.
  • Your car insurance goes down.
  • You refer to college students as kids.
  • You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of beer, bourbon,and rum.
  • Your parents start making casual remarks about grandchildren.
  • You feed your dog Science Diet instead of Taco Bell.
  • You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed
  • College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.
  • Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
  • THEN: discussing with your friends: GPA's, spring break plans,and tonsil hockey NOW: mutual funds, interest rates, and wedding plans
  • Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
  • Dinner and a movie -The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  • You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN Sportscenter and MTV News.
  • You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.
  • METABOLISM SLOWDOWN
  • Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.
  • You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
  • Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.
  • When drinking, you say at least once per night, 'I just can't put it down the same as I used to'.
  • Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work, not video games.
  • You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar that's not full of '21-year-old kids.'
  • Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.

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